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Joke of the Day

"todayilearned nothing"

"Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed? Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!"

"Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all."

"A pirate is never late.... (x-post from Funny) A pirate is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to. Although admittedly drunk, on fire and uninvited."

"A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Puerto Rican are in the back seat of a car. Who's driving ? Immigration. (ICE)"

"What is the hardest part of telling a good gay joke? Keeping a straight face"

"What do anal sex and bungee jumping have in common? If the rubber breaks, you're in the shit."

"On one hand, this sub has gotten a little stale. On the other hand... ... you have different fingers."

"Police in Mississippi shoot a man :( He had accidentally set himself ablaze, and police opened fire because he was waving fire arms in the air :)"

"She's a perfect 10 A 4 with a 6-pack under her arm."