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Joke of the Day

"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."

"Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people."

"How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had? He used cowculus!"

"I went to the doctors this morning as I had a strawberry growing from my ear. He gave me some cream for it."

"What is the highest point in Israel? Mountain Dew."

"I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ... which this post is too short to contain"

"Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone !"

"What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing? Castanets!"

"God all I want is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't change me."

"If a car is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? Zero! Snakes don't have armpits!"