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Joke of the Day

"My mother didn't want me to go to culinary school. She said it would be a high whisk environment."

"I only drink to forget that my 4 year old daughter has an iPad Touch and I have to ask for her help when it's my turn to play on it."

"I've always wondered what periods were like... Could someone give me a demenstruation"

"HELLO 911, I NEED TO REPORT A HALO SCORE THAT'S ""CRIMINALLY"" HIGH LOL!!!! ... yes you can talk to my mom"

"What do Africans want to be for Halloween? Not infected."

"Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open."

"What do you call an Asian prostitute? Chinese-y"

"Instagram better not use my cloud pics. THEY'RE MY CLOUDS GET YOUR OWN CLOUDS ZUCKERBERG!"

"I work at my stepfather's store. You think your boss is an asshole? Mine fucks my mom. - Cole Y."

"Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it. Whiskey: Yes you can."