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Joke of the Day

"My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old. A pretty impressive feat, especially for someone who was homeschooled."

"What country are you most likely to get a disease? GERMany."

"Just installed the iOS 9 update and I've already noticed a significant increase in my phone's battery life! This is aweso"

"I used to work at a calendar store But they fired me for taking a day off."

"My mom told me not to kill the spider but to take it out... so I did, we had a few drinks, top lad he is..currently working as a web designer."

"why don't vampires go to frat parties? they're afraid of natural light"

"How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was."

"A Mexican has 2 kids. He names the first one Jose. What did he name the other? Hose B"

"The 'C word' My girlfriend hates it when I say the ""C word"". This one time, we were watching Spongebob and I'm like ""hey, its 'C word'!"" and shes like ""it's Squidward, you cunt"""

"It's funny how you can tell when someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when someone likes you."