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Joke of the Day

"The Jewish Dad A Jewish kid asks his dad for $50. His dad replies ""$40?! What the hell do you need $30 for?!"""

"What do feminists and zookeepers have in common? Nothing. Feminists have nothing in common with anyone."

"I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish"

"What illness causes breasts to grow all over your body? Heap-a-tities."

"How much wood would Steve Winwood win if Steve Winwood could win wood?"

"What is atheism? A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word ""religion"" with ""set of beliefs"" if you're picky about that sort of thing"

"Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse? Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there."

"To all you single ladies out there, as winter slowly approaches I am offering you a good high quality man blanket for this winter. Claim me now while supplies last. . ."

"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine."

"Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn't spell properly."