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Joke of the Day

"Tie Me Up... One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""and you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."

Next Joke
 
"Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers"
"An insect just flew into my bedroom and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy Long Legs."
"pizza pizza pizza eatya eatya eatya"
"What do you call the useless skin around the vagina? The woman."
"In the eye doctor waiting room with my mom. There's apparently an old person throat clearing competition here today."
"What will they now call hormonally-induced knockers on men? broosts"
"You HAVE to listen to this song, it's perfect. Okay, this opening is slow... The vocals aren't great here... Wow. This is trash, and I am trash."
"I have a confession about my time at the movies recently... Okay, fine. I'll admit it: I'm bad. I take women to The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and I never Gollum back."
"Quote of the day! ""When shits about to hit the fan... I turn the fan off"" -Pfaff"