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Joke of the Day

"Surely I'm not the only who chews extra hard to make sure the Teddy Grahams are good and dead. Surely."

"[leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."

"What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off? They go fission."

"Why should sailors eat crabapples? For the vitamin sea."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-dwelling scum sucker. The other is a fish."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding. He still hasn't unwrapped his present."

"Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for ""superficial""? ""Shallow""? ""Slave""? Or ""soon to be obsolete""?"

"Did you hear about the policeman who arrested the two boys, one who had a battery in possession and the other a firework? He charged one and let the other off."

"I want to get into the porn industry But the competition is really stiff."

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity...... Twice."