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Joke of the Day

"I just gave birth... I had a cow."

"When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."

"Meanwhile back in class... Teacher : How much is a gram? Me: Depends on what you are looking for ... Teacher : GET OUT! NOW! Me: So, did you still need that, or naw?"

"It would be rather appropriate to die during sex. We come *into* this world naked and screaming..."

"Paid a visit to 'www.conjunctivitis.com' earlier... Believe me, it's a site for sore eyes."

"A lot of comedy today is observational humor You guys ever noticed that?"

"""Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family."" ""WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"""

"A Jew, Korean, and Black guy walk into a bar. The bartender told them to get the fuck out."

"I take it personally when the UPS guy drops off a package for my neighbors but doesn't bring me one."

"two peanuts walk into a bar one was a salted"