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Joke of the Day
"two peanuts walk into a bar one was a salted"
Next Joke
"I wonder if poor kids in Africa dream of a white christmas? Like spending time with your whole family, getting tons of Xboxes and play stations. Heaping servings of food, etc."
"Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo."
"Once you've seen one shopping center... ...you've seen a mall."
"I assume the #1 reason people change their identity is b/c they answered ""You too"" when the barista said ""Enjoy your bagel."""
"if america goes the way of greece, we'll be ending all our words with ""ous."" that's ridiculous! omg, it's already started"
"Not to brag, but I finished this 14 day diet... in 3 hours and 38 minutes."
"If someone doesn't respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don't love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly."
"70% of writing is writ"
"My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary."