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Joke of the Day

"What's your favorite ""I just hurt myself or messed up"" phrase? Like, oh fuck! Oh shit! TITTY SPRINKLESSSSSSS"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't get across, but he made it to the other side."

"Snuck a peak at my therapist's notepad after telling her about my childhood, and it was just dollar signs."

"I heard dogs like to play with balls ...so I decided to get out the peanut butter"

"2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds What a waste of thyme!"

"My doctor says my emoji use is keeping me young."

"The flat earth movement is really taking off.. There are flat earthers all around the globe"

"[texting gf] February 13th ""I think we should spend some time apart"" February 15th ""Ok that was enough time"""

"Butts Do not like lies."

"If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be famous for? Their age!"