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Joke of the Day

"2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds What a waste of thyme!"

"Why'd the seaman cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock that day."

"Ran into my ex the other day Then I put it in reverse. Then I ran her over."

"What do you call an epileptic frolicking in a garden? Seizure salad."

"How do spacemen pass the time on long trips ? They play astronauts and crosses !"

"4-year-old: ""Frozen"" is on TV! Me: We have it on DVD. And Blu-ray. And digital download. 4: Yeah, but this one is on right now."

"Tanning Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks Are you two sisters? They laughed and replied, No we're not even Catholic."

"Brostache117, Penguin_Party12345, D3ATHfromAB0V3x and thewakingforce"

"When Dennis Thatcher had sex with Margaret Thatcher he called it pumping iron."

"What do you say to your girlfriend with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice."