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Joke of the Day

"Halloween is a great time for comedy Because skeleton jokes are always humerus"

"i'm the human version of samwise gamgee, can't destroy the ring but make sure it gets home so someone else can"

"Did you hear oxygen and magnesium started dating? I know, right! Like, OMg!"

"It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me."

"I didn't get groped by the TSA at all. We just kissed a little, it was nice."

"Saying ""bukkake"" when people sneeze is the new ""gezundheit"", honest."

"Why was President Banana of Zimbabwe elected? He had great appeal. - Courtesy of my dad."

"What happens to criminal photons? They get put in prism!"

"What do you call a fat gay guy? Flab-ulos!"

"It's so cute how my kids think I'm going to go look for them after I finish counting to ten."