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Joke of the Day

"Here's one myfriend's little sister told me. Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent."

"Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame."

"You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose ""creepy weird dude."""

"Did you fall from the sky? Not because you look like an angel but because your face looks like you fell from a really high place ;)."

"What's a crime that doesn't exist now, but might become illegal in 100+ years? Posting this question to r/askreddit."

"What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a homosexual? A megasauranus."

"Hey you! Did you lose your nose? I just found it in my business."

"""hey we use animals for literally everything else in our lives. lets use our feet for cars."" idiot flintstones. no wonder you're extinct."

"Things men would rather do than work to raise testicular cancer awareness: eat a sandwich, watch sports, fight, die of testicular cancer."

"Mr. Rogers misled kids by making them believe that running into people you know is good."