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Joke of the Day

"Saying ""bukkake"" when people sneeze is the new ""gezundheit"", honest."

"I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me."

"How do you make someone holy? You beat the hell out of them."

"""The first law of thermodynamics... ... is that you don't talk about thermodynamics."" My lecturer's a hoot."

"Why did Donald Trump watch the olympics? To see how high the mexicans pole vaulters can jump"

"Want to know why everyone loves time warner cable? The loading times are out of this world."

"What do you call a panther and a ghost combined?"

"There is no cool way to chase after a ping pong ball."

"9: Daddy, what starts with F and ends in UCK? my face: *look of horror* 9: firetruck! What else? me: nervous laugh *pours another drink*"

"Who likes wet cock and hates soggy cereal? A chicken with a water fetish."