184924
Joke of the Day
"I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8"
Next Joke
"I wondered if my wife was asleep so I held my phone a foot over her face and turned it on. Then I dropped it onto her nose. She's awake now."
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? (nsfw, like any good joke) I can't jelly my cock up your ass."
"I don't believe Trump when he says he doesn't smoke In the past 2 months I've seen him smoke 2 Cubans."
"What do you call a huge pile of cats? A Meowntain"
"Did you hear about that fire at the circus?! I heard it was in tents!"
"I do not delete bad tweets that get no stars... I let them sit there and think about what they've done..."
"A woman in her seventies overhearing that I was a tattoo artist asked if I wanted to see her ""rat"" tattoo. I said sure. She revealed a bare hip and said ""Oh, I guess my pussy must have ate it"""
"My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands."
"What do you call Usain bolt when he's running from a lion? Fast food"