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Joke of the Day

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!!"

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"I was going to go as a worthless piece of garbage for Halloween... ...but then I realized I go as that every day of the year."

"My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song ""The Wheels on the Bus"""

"Why should you never eat Sonic the Hedgehog? He gives your underwear blue streaks."

"Have you seen the new Broadway production about the dictionary? It's a great play on words."

"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl I wanted my first night to be special."

"What's the difference between a musician and a large cheese pizza? A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four."

"|(O)| MAARCOOO! ...... (.){"

"This Petraeus scandal is getting real confusing. I hope I didn't sleep with him."