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Joke of the Day

"7 has started saying ""your life just got better,"" whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid's strong-suit."

"I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth My parents were into some kinky shit"

"Q: Define Transvestite: A: A guy who likes to eat drink and be Mary."

"A liar, a murderer, and a thief walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""what will it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""

"To all the haters out there, I think Melania Trump's speech hit all the right keys. Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V"

"Skrillex is living proof that our society isn't completely superficial yet and that most of my farts should be winning Grammys."

"My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on."

"revolting SERVANT: Ms. Pao, the Redditors are revolting! PAO: Well, you're not so pretty yourself..."

"At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked ""I've never seen so many priests in one room"" I guess he's never been to a kids party then"

"ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth"