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Joke of the Day

"7 has started saying ""your life just got better,"" whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid's strong-suit."

"""I'll sleep when I'm bread."" -Dough"

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"I decided to read War and Peace whilst walking over the Golden-Gate, I'd heard the abridged version was easier to finish."

"I came up with this at 3 am, For short joke lovers. Penis, meet hand Hand, meet penis. Now shake hands."

"What do you call a duck that does drugs? A quack head!"

"A fish walks into a bar the bartender asks ""What would you like?"" the fish says holding his neck ""Water""."

"My girlfriend says she prefers a dildo over me. I never saw it coming"

"My paper rips a lot It's tearrible paper."

"Whats the hardest thing about a pedophile. His dick."