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Joke of the Day

"Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out ""DEAR GOD MY BACK!"""

"How do assassins pay for stuff on the internet? hitcoin"

"The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says ""eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."""

"What did the trailer park girl say when she lost her virginity Get off me dad! your crushing my smokes!"

"The best part of being incompetent to cook and feed myself is that when I travel I am positive I didn't leave the oven on."

"How well did the sailor do in school? Not bad actually, he got high 'C's."

"The best joke ever What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday? For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad? Ye, pharaoh-nuff"

"Have I been shadow banned? Nevermind, turns out my comments just suck."

"Trying out that new pickup line on a girl for the first time; whether it works or not, you'll wind up feeling a twat. *EYYYYYY*"

"Give that Man a Fish I once taught a man to fish. He ended up offing himself because he couldn't get into a good fishing college."