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Joke of the Day

"Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out ""DEAR GOD MY BACK!"""

"How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS? They always take things the wrong way."

"There's one thing I've learned after my son got hit in the face with dog excrement. I'm rather good at golf."

"[blood bank] Doc inserts needle [turns around] YOU AGAIN! [vampire sucking on tube like straw] GO ON SCOOT [chases him from room with broom]"

"Bad Day Q- How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? A- She has a tampon behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil."

"I`m not working for Blackberry... But I`ve got a RIM job."

"What looks like half a cat ? The other half !"

"It's not PC to give your wife a black eye You should really be giving her an african american eye"

"So, why were they called the dark ages? There were too many knights."

"I sometimes send letters to my parents... They're nothing to write home about."