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Joke of the Day

"Well, I guess I'll jump on the pirate train. What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? Finding a treasure chest with no booty."

"The longer you sleep the more sleep you need. The more you eat the bigger is your appetite."

"Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife."

"What do you call a pretend railway ? A play station !"

"Million dollar idea: make $100,000 ten times"

"Watching a sex scene with my parents is so awkward. My mom is such a bad actress."

"For all the single ladies out there, here is my number: 4/10"

"How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel."

"Woman walks in on a man who's masturbating. Woman says, ""Eww you pervert!""... **Man** walks in on a **woman** who's masturbating. Woman says ""Eww you pervert!"" credit: /u/nobodyatnight"

"Two Muslims are on a frozen lake not talking to each other... I thought I would go over there and break the ice."