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Joke of the Day

"If someone enjoys bondage, and they hang themselves... Does that mean they died from having a kink in their neck?"

"3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?"

"The speed at which you walk into the liquor store says a lot about you as a person."

"I spent $500 on that Harvard application, damn right I framed the rejection letter."

"Save your suggestions for the Krispy Kreme complaint box you retarded blob of cellulite."

"Where did Noah keep his termites? In a plastic bag."

"How do you get an 80 year-old woman to swear? How do you get an 80 year-old woman to yell ""F*ck""? You get another 80 year-old woman next to her to yell ""BINGO"""

"I learned today that ""bust a nut"" doesn't mean ""work really hard"" and boy aren't I embarrassed about using it in all those work memos."

"A nigger a spic and an arab walk into a bar. The arab blows them all up."

"Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!"