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Joke of the Day

"Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THEM!"

"Your mama's so fat We are all genuinely concerned about her health."

"Cop: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" Me: ""OH NO THIS COP HAS AMNESIA!!!"""

"""How many..."" How many blacks do you need to start a riot? Minus one."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken"

"The funniest part of being put under with nitrous at the dentist is getting home to find your underwear on backwards."

"I've always wondered why people love jokes about giant air conditioners... I'm not a big fan..."

"If the pensieve from Harry Potter could think... It would be thoughtful."

"I just put a bunch of lipstick up my butt. (NSFW) I've suddenly realized that makeup sex is highly overrated."

"A ship full of red paint crashes into a island... The sailors were marooned."