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Joke of the Day

"I just put a bunch of lipstick up my butt. (NSFW) I've suddenly realized that makeup sex is highly overrated."

"There was a groping incident at work. I apologized but they fired me anyways."

"Where does general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"There has been a multiple thefts of rubber bands in our office... I guess you can say we have a Rubber Bandit"

"So I go in for my physical... And the doctor says ""I need a semen, stool, and urine sample."" I say ""Gee doc, I'm in a big hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?"" *Taken from Bill Paxton in Predator 2.*"

"What did the orphan get for Christmas? A family."

"Moscow cops Did you hear the one about why Moscow cops patrol in threes? One who can read, one who can write, and another to keep an eye on the other two ""dangerous intellectuals""."

"What do you call a stoner with Down's Syndrome? A Baked Potato."

"so i learned recently that fruit is good for the colon... thus a homosexual's must be exceptionally healthy"

"Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual? Because the pedals fell off."