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Joke of the Day

"*joins Buddhist monastery* *withstands 21 years of brutal kung-fu training* So, vending machine that didn't drop my funyuns. We meet again."

"People say I'm a plagiarist Their word, not mine"

"My girlfriend is like my will to live Nonexistent."

"I was going to post a really cheesy pun but there was just no whey."

"(I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)"

"Hey baby, are you a cloud server? Because I have something to upload from my hard drive."

"I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related."

"I asked a crow what its favourite Apple product was.. ""Caw!"""

"My girlfriend broke up with me She thinks that I'm childish. So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and then ran away."

"I'm really good at managing my credit card... ...My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding."