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Joke of the Day

"All the adults who used to tell me ""When you're older you'll understand"" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news"

"An eight-year-old kid says t his dad ""When I grow up I want to be a musician."" The dad says ""I am sorry -- can't have it both ways."""

"I text my wife tonight, ""Honey, I'm going to stay in the bar another hour with my friends for another pint..."" ""...if I'm not back in an hour then read this message again."""

"What's the difference between a whore and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after it's slapped"

"8- Dad, why is there oxygen on earth, but not on any other planet? M- Are you sure you just don't want to know where baby's come from?"

"Why is Oedipus against profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth"

"How do telepaths have an orgasm? They get their mind blown."

"Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls? It was low hanging fruit."

"I saw a really nasty wreck on the way to work this morning... ...wish I had had time to pick her up."

"How does Bob Marley like his donuts? With jammin'."