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Joke of the Day

"Our choices in U.S. presidential candidates. If nobody laughs, it would just be sad."

"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"

"Helped a homeless guy move today... I picked up his vomit and threw it across the street."

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"

"I just pulled over for a siren on the radio so I get it, dogs that bark at tv."

"What drives the hype train? The hyper drive."

"The developmental psychologists got back to us about our son. They said he's smart on paper... Unfortunately he can't read"

"Shockingly True What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"How did the mathematician treat his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Did you hear about the blond who got hurt while raking leaves? she fell off the tree."