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Joke of the Day

"You know why the fiscal year ends in March and not December? Because the next year starts with April Fools' day."

"What's red and unhealthy for your teeth? A brick."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting together. A young child walks by and the priest says, ""Man, i'd love to screw that kid!"" and the rabbi responds, ""Out of what?"""

"What do you call a masculine Arab? Protein Sheikh"

"Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup? Because they were tailor made for it."

"My wife and I decided we don't want children... ...if anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow."

"Once an octopus figures out how to do roundhouse kicks, humans are pretty much done"

"If you don't call your spouse ""wonderful"" when you're on a game show, you're legally required to get a divorce at the end of the show."

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!"

"After an argument with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I don't like to be spoken to in that tone of voice."