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Joke of the Day

"*Lowers thermostat* *Dad puts it back* *Lowers thermostat again* *Dad puts it back again* The real Cold War"

"How long does the perfect job interview last? Exactly as long as a blowjob takes."

"Most people don't know this, but the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they lost their damn minds."

"I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says ""Text Me"""

"MURICANS Those who speak 3 language are trilingual , Those who speak 2 language are bilingual And those who speak one language are AMERICANS"

"What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene"

"What's the meanest thing someone's ever said to you? Oh, you're a redditor?"

"There is nothing wrong with window puns, I just don't like to shed light on them."

"What are the most common 3 words used all around the world? Made in China."

"Earth: ""You're causing tidal waves!"" Moon: ""So?"" Earth: ""I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation!"" Moon: ""Very funny."""