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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the joke about Ebola? ...well you're probably not going to get it."

"Toddlers run just like a 70s stuntman engulfed in flames."

"I cheated on my 24 year old girlfriend I apologized and told her my mistress is half the woman she is. ""That's because she's 12!"", said my girlfriend."

"So a Jew with a boner walks into a wall ..Breaks his glasses..."

"My home security system is a nerf sword by the door. My liquor cabinet has a retina scanner, 3 pit bulls & my 7th grade lesbian gym teacher."

"What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper? The Storm Trooper would have missed harambe"

"what do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? What do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? They are both pussies who were discovered on the internet."

"I love Clint Westwood easterns. Especially The Bad, the Good and the Handsome."

"I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter."

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help people."