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Joke of the Day
"My parents were like siblings. And according to the police that was, like, a problem."
Next Joke
"You auto complete me."
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Quiet and in a cup."
"That awkward moment when someone you like talks to you and all you can do is smile like an idiot."
"GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT"
"If I have trouble finding an arm hole while putting on a dress shirt, I imagine I'm rehearsing for my show ""Damien Fahey: Shitty Magician""."
"Leonardo Dicaprio has addressed the UN about climate change. Well if anyone should know about the dangers of melting icebergs, it's him!"
"You know why midget performers attract customers? they remind them that life is short"
"How do you fit 100 babies into a cup? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips."
"I'm not that great at hide and seek... I look in the mirror and I lose everytime."