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Joke of the Day

"What do John Belushi, Jim Morrison, John Candy, Jimi, Hendrix, and Janice Joplin have in common? They all died Jung."

"I upset a Jehovah's Witness at work today... ...they started telling me a knock-knock joke, but I wouldn't answer."

"What is the date in Germany/Brasil today? 7-1. (world cup)"

"Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car."

"What do you get when you combined a baseball player with a metal alloy? A steel"

"WINSTON CHURCHILL: ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" ONE-LEGGED MAN WHO BARELY SURVIVED A SHARK ATTACK: ""Yeah... and sharks"""

"Still up can't sleep thinking about how i can infuse kush into shampoo"

" And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court "

"I'd write a book on parenting but it'd probably just end up being full of cocktail recipes."

"I slept like a baby last night I cried for hours and shit my pants."