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Joke of the Day

"Butter should re-name itself, ""I Can't Believe It's Not Polysorbate 60, Soy Lecithin, Xanthan Gum and Other Artificial Flavors"""

"*Ghost snatches phone from me* ""Who you gonna call now?"""

"Why did the doctor lose his job? He lost his patience"

"""If I had a Hi Fi"" - the next single by The Palindromes."

"I've been volunteering a lot with the hearing impaired lately: I couldn't care less about them as a group, but it's the only way to find a girlfriend who is completely mute."

"What is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone who just lost their job? You had one job."

"You know what I find amazing? That after 107 years, the Titanic's swimming pools are still full."

"What is the Earth's most juvenile lake? Lake Titicaca of course!"

"What's the difference between a very old shaggy Yeti and a dead bee? One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee."

"I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek..."