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Joke of the Day

"I saw a Jewish Ghost last night... It was so scary I started to Shiva."

"Good morning class, science is our lesson for today. Teacher: What is science? Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science? Student: science is our Lesson for today."

"If you play connect-the-dots with the stains on my shirt, it reveals a picture of a grown man who needs to use a bib."

"I was about to sleep with a blind girl when she said, ""You have the biggest penis I've ever laid my hands on""... I responded, ""You're pulling my leg."""

"How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day? None"

"Someone asked me why my name isn't on the cover of my book. I explained that it's a practice of humility. ""Ahh, so why then is your name on the title page?"" ""I'm not that humble!"""

"I'm gonna stand outside a strangers house tonight with a lit candle & tell them it's in remembrance of all the people I killed there."

"Why doesn't the NAACP do anything about how shitty black jelly beans are?"

"Q: Do ghouls eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat their fingers separately."

"At a job interview: Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses? Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it? A: I'm lazy to list them all..."