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Joke of the Day
"A balding person in denial is probably like maybe it's all in my head."
Next Joke
"I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too."
"I had a bad dream about pizza sauce. It was a real nightmarinara."
"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"
"facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once"
"*Runs into bank with gun* Alright! Everyone put your hands up! *Tickles everyone*"
"My girlfriend is like John Cena I can't see her :("
"Why Doesn't Humpty Dumpty Believe in Anything? Because he's an EGGnostic!"
"If you like something, don't forget to really oversell it so it can disappoint everyone else."
"How do Muslims like to make their pizzas spicy? They add halalapeno."