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Joke of the Day

"A blonde walked into the dentist office... ...and sat down in a chair. The dentist said: ""Open Wide"" ""I can't"" - The blonde said. - ""This chair has arms"""

"""How much are these glasses?"" ""$150 sir"" ""I guess you could say"" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*"

"Did you know Hitler's father was a cobbler? He made Jews."

"Why does Bear Grylls love Bud Light? It's sterile and he likes the taste."

"I do really well on Jeopardy. I get all the answers, every one of them, almost instantly. I do, however, have a lot of trouble coming up with the questions."

"What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read."

"My buddy went to a foreign country to get his sex change operation. Now he's a dude who's abroad."

"I bought my friend an elephant for his living room. Friend: thank you. Me: Don't mention it. *Edit: formatting.*"

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Stevie Wonder is the worst Father Hasnt seen his kids in years"