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Joke of the Day

"*At Railway station Me : Can I get a return ticket please? Station attendant : Where to? Me : Here."

"Jesus tells Peter, ""Come forth and you shall have eternal glory!"" Peter came in fifth and won a toaster."

"Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve? Because he wasn't polar"

"A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself."

"*quietly tries to open a bag of chips during a bank robbery*"

"My post on /r/bombs made the front page Edit: holy shit this blew up"

"A man is drunk outside a bar Suddenly he starts beating up a nun walking by. Two bystanders pull him off the battered nun and the drunk yells ""you ain't so tuff now are you batman!"""

"Who did Fat Albert accuse of leaving a burning cross on his lawn? ""The Kaaay Kaaay Kaaaaay!"""

"A good rule of thumb is It's opposable."

"I was scraping a window at my Grandma's house.... I then thought up a joke for my mom to hear it was ""This window scraping stuff is a pane in the glass!"" She laughed :)"