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Joke of the Day
"A GIRL SAID.... TODAYS JOKES..A GIRL SAID TRUST ME....LOL"
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"While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator... That may be redundant."
"""These mushrooms aren't poisonous!"" - Somebody's last words"
"A man is flying on a plane Lady Flight attendant: hello, would you like some headphones? Man: yeah I would, but how did you know my name was phones?"
"Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street ""I've never come this way before!"" And the other replies ""yes! It's the cobblestones!"""
"""Dude, we should swap spacesuits. Just for a laugh."" ""Ha, yeah ok."" [swaps suits] ""Now we sh-"" ""You took a shit in this, didn't you?"""
"Lots of hockey tweets, sadly I'm from Alabama where a bunch of white guys chasing something black with sticks has a whole different meaning."
"I've got 99 problems and they're all luftballons."
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It's their job to help people find their way in dark places! (MASH s1 ep7)"
"Whenever I see a teenager, I can't help thinking"" holy shit"" was I really THAT fucking stupid once?"