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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"

"My wife and I went to see a realtor. ""Have you guys considered moving houses?"" he asked. I said, ""No, we don't like caravans."""

"Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? Right where you left it"

"What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl"

"I couldn't believe it when my mother said she liked The Monkees more than The Beatles. Then I saw her face."

"You know who are great at shadow puppets? Deaf people."

"Why didn't Sally become a prostitute to pay her bills? Because it was Plan B."

"Did you hear about the leper who visited the whorehouse? He left a big tip."

"What does a horny frog say? Rubbit. Stole this from a friend."

"What does Verizon wireless and abortion clinics have in common? They both have early termination fees"