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Joke of the Day
"Birds of a feather flock together... ...and then crap on your car."
Next Joke
"What has ten legs and nine arms? Def Leppard"
"What do you call a man who gives a woman the illusion of entitlement? A Husband..."
"How do dogs save for retirement? With a Ruff IRA."
"[NSFW] I was walking home when I heard a homeless guy yell .. I was walking home when I heard a drunk homeless guy yell -"" You motherfucker , your daughter is your sister"""
"shoutout to all the objects in my perceptual field. u know who u are ;)"
"I bet Vegans that become zombies must really struggle with the whole brain-eating lifestyle..."
"What did the two narwhals say at midnight? Nothing, they just baconed."
"My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free... This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me."
"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night. I was like OMg."