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Joke of the Day
"do you know the difference between a government bond and a man? The bond matures."
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"I don't watch soccer... If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would take my friends to the bar."
"This guy's ""game"" is so bad, He can't get pussy from a dead cat."
"Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep."
"I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision."
"What's Hillary's favorite pizza place? Little Seizures Edit: credit to Joe Biggs @rambobiggs"
"What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA"
"Sometimes pretending to be busy takes more effort than being busy."
"Bill Clinton jokes never get old What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex? ""I'll be home in 20 minutes."""
"My friend has a habit of dropping things. It's getting out of hand."