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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when you don't know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on."

"How do trees encourage one another? They say ""I'm rooting for you"""

"I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk."

"What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks? A seasoned veteran."

"Where do you send bad Russian cows? The Moolag"

"What is the similarity between a projector and an ugly prostitute? Both work better with the lights off."

"It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. ""This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."""

"What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"

"Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us."

"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin, Get the batmobile!"