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Joke of the Day

"My teacher actually said this to us before out computing exam... Pupil: ""Will we be able to use the calculator in the exam?"" Sir: ""No, it will be disabled just like you"" No joke, he actually said that"

"How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better."

"I ran into my old girlfriend at the airport, boy she has a lot of baggage."

"Exclamation points are cocaine for sentences!"

"What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus."

"Just saw a man talking on a pay phone... I should call the cops right?"

"Boss hangs a poster in office I am the boss, dont forget' He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk, ur wife called, she wants her poster back home..!!'"

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift."

"Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year."

"We're celebrating Thanksgiving the old fashioned way at my place this year By inviting our neighbors over to eat and then killing them and taking their land"