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Joke of the Day

"So my mobile phone company forced me to upgrade my 3G phone to a 4G one. I couldn't withstand the pressure."

"Why are pistachios called pistachios? More like ""these-are-hard-to-openios"""

"even if u realy hate sombody, u shoud never insult their physical apearance!!! bc as soon as u dig deeper u will find much stronger insults"

"Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair."

"What is Jamaica's favorite TV series? The Walking Dread"

"What did the pickle say to the cucumber? Come on in the water's brine!"

"We haven't spent a dime for snake food since I discovered all the free pets on craigslist."

"Friends and lovers may come and go but allergies are forever."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken."

"""Pass the joint."" -Cannibals at dinner"