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Joke of the Day

"Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer."

"Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis."

"If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America."

"*at the gym* Trainor: Have a donut. Me: Wow! Sure! T: Here's some pizza. M: What kind of trainer are you? T: I'm a Megan Trainor."

"Shopping for houses, it seems like a lot of the houses in my price range need some TLC... But I don't want no scrubs."

"How do you know if hippies have been in your house? They are still there."

"When going to a furry convention... Everyone is game."

"Why did the atom stick around? Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion."

"What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long? A thon"

"I ordered the Club Salad for lunch.. I asked waitress ""What all comes in the club salad?"" She said ""Lettuce, turnip, the beat"""