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Joke of the Day

"Why is it called the 3/5 compromise? Because it is only 2/5 solution."

"[about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR"

"How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear? It was a brief chase..."

"I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar."

"What do Chinese bears use to cook? A pan. Duh!"

"Today is a military command: March Fourth!"

"I just passed by Canadian citizenship test! I got an eh +"

"What do Viagra and Disney World have in common? A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride"

"What did Trump say to the women who told him she could give him the worlds best Blow Job. What's in it for me?"

"I'd like to welcome everyone with a car visor CD holder to the year 2011. We understand and accept your simple ways here in the future."