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Joke of the Day

"LOVED ONES: When I die, I want you to throw a sad party where you all look at my dead body US, FOR SOME REASON: Ok that's no problem"

"I wish there was an app where I could point my phone at someone and find out exactly how much money they make."

"What is a woman ? Man with a uterus somewhere"

"Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you"

"She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun."

"Why was the drug dealer late? Because he tripped"

"It's not cool to skip on dating someone who talks funny -- just because your english is gooder than theirs be."

"How did the clock get cancer? Second-hand smoke!"

"*Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?"

"What do you call a murder committed by a gay person? *homo*cide ;)"