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Joke of the Day
"2 Goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""
Next Joke
"I want to create a Facebook event called ""Shut The Hell Up"" and invite everybody."
"How do you call a party with people who have epilepsy? Foam fest"
"I thought about going on an all-almond diet But that's just nuts."
"Coworker: You're so condescending and arrogant. Me: They mean the same thing so you didn't need to say both."
"Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?"
"I heard Samsung is making a feature film They're calling it Total Recall."
"I'm at my most fake news when I tell my husband how much money I spent shopping."
"""Your lifeguard resume is just a pic of David Hasselhoff"" I feel it says all u need to know about me ""He's drunk with a cheeseburger"" Yes"
"I treasure my watch. This is my grandfather, who sold it to me on his deathbed."