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Joke of the Day

"Got a great book of Ebay ""How To Improve Your memory"" But for the life of me I can not remember where I left the fucking thing"

"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it three times now."

"What's a control freaks favorite macro? Control+U"

"I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years."

"How do you quadruple the capacity of a gay bar? Turn all the stools upside down. (Not trying to offend anyone, just a raunchy joke I heard from my GFs dad)"

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."

"Dark humor is kind of like food.. .. Not everyone gets it."

"I've always wanted to know how long ""forever"" was... and by looking at some peoples relationships its around 2 to 4 weeks."

"A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar... The bartender asks, ""Where'd ya get it?"" The parrot says, ""Africa."" (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)"

"Everyone saying ""Poor Steve Nash, he got hurt again"". POOR? That boy making $9,701,000 this year. If he poor, then I'm skinny."