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Joke of the Day

"I don't take a duece I make gold like a Lannister."

"Obama is a lot like college Everyone wants four more years, but nobody wants to pay for it."

"I was going to write a gay joke.. ..butt fuck it."

"I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone. I want to make it Hans-free!"

"No matter how hard you push the envelope It still remains stationery"

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count And those who cannot count"

"Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings."

"What wind is best for footballs? Drew Brees"

"I dunno if a gun would be my murder weapon of choice but it's worth a shot."

"Its so busy at work... I feel like a priest and all my tickets are altar boys, I need to touch them all."