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Joke of the Day
"What wind is best for footballs? Drew Brees"
Next Joke
"Why do I love putting down kids without parents? Cause endorphins make me feel good."
"Valentine's Day card idea: I'm like good sushi... You can eat me raw. Happy Valentine's Day!"
"So I heard Scalia died... Now can we finally legalize marijuana?"
"Just had a food baby, but I'm not ready for that type of responsibility so I flushed it"
"A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine ...with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""
"A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash... Coworker asks, ""what are you doing!?!"" HR Manager said, ""I don't like to hire unlucky people."""
"Give Michael Cera a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll be like, ""ewww you have to touch worms? Gross"""
"My girlfriend hates when I say ""I've got a surprise for you... in my pants."", then I unzip my pants and a squirrel jumps out and bites her."
"When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist."