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Joke of the Day

"This waitress at Olive Garden has been grating cheese onto my plate for 13 hours now."

"Don't talk shit about someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"Teacher I can't solve this problem. Any five year old should be able to solve this one. No wonder I can't do it then I'm nearly ten!"

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one hesrs it, Do the squirrels sleep sideways?"

"Yo. Wanna do graffiti? ""Sure man"" [My friend makes a cool gang symbol on a wall] Cool. Let me try [Mine reads KELLY WHY DID U LEAVE ME]"

"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."

"The best way to get over someone is probably with your car"

"What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar? Expecto-Patron-On-Ice"

"You say, ""I think we should see other people"" like I haven't been doing so ever since we started dating."

"Why do trees shed their leaves in fall? Because they've had their chloro-fill."