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Joke of the Day

"This waitress at Olive Garden has been grating cheese onto my plate for 13 hours now."

"What is brown and screams? Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron."

"It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college."

"""It's so funny running into you like this."" -Guy who just crashed his car into yours in a hilarious way"

"I'm pretty sure this new iTunes update is gonna turn things around for me."

"I'm a good driver until there is a cop behind me Then I become a paranoid weed transporter from the border"

"And I don't want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn't cold, save it for the elves, Santa"

"Why could the drunk man only move left? The officer hadn't read him his rights."

"Daddy what is a transvestite? -Ask Mommy, he knows."

"What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesarus (Credit goes to whoever submitted that to the Coffee News)"